Top Ten Excuses For Not Fighting

10. "Wouldn't want to dent my new, shiny, armor now, would I?"
9. "I need to give the other fighters a chance to shine."
8. "I got distracted trying to research period underwater basketweaving techniques."
7. "The marshals don't like me."
6. "My Knight quit the SCA."
5. ""Someone put itching powder in my jock."
4. "My leather armor got all mildewed."
3. "The waterbearers won't leave me alone."
2. "Not yet authorized in 'drunken monkey' style."
1. "Someone borrowed my armor and sold it at Pennsic."