Return Home

Local News Update:
Seneschal Yells 'Oyez'

Southern Wastes, Trimaris—In a desperate attempt to gain the attention of the populace, area seneschal Lady Halli Patagonica cried 'oyez' several times at the start of a recent Southern Wastes business meeting. "Oyez, oyez, people — please settle down so we can get started," she was reported as shouting.

"Oyez means SHUT UP!" an obviously upset Atratus Flatus, group herald, screamed, startling several baronial members. When later asked, Flatus described his room-quieting technique. "I find that if I scream 'oyez' as loudly as possible, and then accent that with a very angry, pointed look in the vicinity of the talkers, that often gets the job done."

There is some debate among baronial members as to which is more rude — talking after 'oyez' has been called, or screaming 'oyez' at the top of one's lungs. "I didn't mean to be rude, honest," said Iredalei the Wench. "I was just asking Chysolophus the Bookworm what he was wearing to Coronation. But I think Atratus just goes overboard sometimes. He yells 'oyez' so much, he makes more noise than those of us who are just talking!'"

Further investigation revealed that oyez is an Old French word which was the imperative plural form of oir, "to hear". Flatus could not be reached for further comment on the actual definition of 'oyez'.

Zip it!


The Quarter - Good comedy writes itself. We wrote this.