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Top Ten Perks of Winning Crown Tournament

10. Cash and trips to Europe

9. Can gain access to a knight's vigil before 5 a.m.

8. Get to banish anyone who's ever annoyed you

7. Great views of cleavage as the ladies bow to you

6. Snappy, all-purpose answer — "Why? 'Cause I'm the KING, That's why!"

5. Free feasts mean all the cous cous you can eat — mmm mmm good!

4. Take crown to any Baskin Robbins and they have to fill it with ice cream — no questions asked!

3. Most shopping malls have "reserved for royalty" parking spot

2. Always have a place to sit at court — and you're never late!

1. All those geeks brown-nosing you for the next nine months

Nuts!


The Quarter - Beware the Penguins!