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Where's Waldo?

Top Ten Things Henry VIII Would Say
If He Were Around Today

10. That strange metal bird in the sky...why does it serve such awful food?
9. A Gap store! At last, a familiar sight.
8. Bring me the young chanteuse Britney Spears!
7. Let us send a diplomatic envoy to Queen Oprah.
6. Where can I get me some of them lawn flamingoes?
5. I'm 509 years old, and Willard Scott still won't wish me a Happy Birthday.
4. Now that I'm head of my own church, I'm ready to "convert" a few hookers.
3. Let me get this straight...you call this number and a lady talks dirty to you? Cool!
2. These zippers are a lot more convenient than a codpiece — but much more painful!
1. Anyone know the name of a good divorce lawyer?


The Quarter - We See Dead People