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Mistress Abigaille?

Dear Mistress Abigaille

Advice from a real Peer -
so it must be good!

Mistress Abigaille,

I have been in the SCA for 20 years now. I have been in armor, entertained at bardic circles, crafted leather and wood, and tried my hand at calligraphy. I am known as a master at organizing kitchens for feasts and have cooked or led others in preparing some of the finest feasts our barony has ever had. I admit that I am a 48 year old portly, uh, large, oh what the heck, I'm fat, man with a great sense of humor, tons of "No (bad word) there I was" stories, a fair singing voice, and a good hospitality master where ever I go. My problem is, I can't get a girlfriend. What am I doing wrong?

- Fat Pat

Dear Pat,

Well, if you want success with some ladies, you'll have to succeed in Crown Tournament. However those types of ladies are quite high maintenance. Just keep being yourself, the right lady will come along. P.S. - Mistress Abigaille thinks that "girth is good!" Meanwhile, if any of you ladies would like to help Pat, e-mail me!

Dear Mistress Abigaille,

I reside in Atlantia, land of the fearsome rhinohiders, more fearsome Laurels, and all-too-boring kings. What, oh what, can we possibly do to make our land as light hearted and fluffy as yours?

Signed, Bruised and Bored in Atlantia

Dear Bruised and Bored,

Why not start a parody newsletter? It worked for us!

Confidential to "Unimpersonated" -

Don't worry, no one came as *ME* to the Baronial Bash Topsy Turvy Masked Ball either!

SEND your perplexing SCA-related dilemma to Mistress Abigaille


The Quarter - Forsooth. Forsooth.