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Wacky Woodkut Kaption Kontest!

Last Issue's Woodkut The people have spoken! Here are the results of our on-line voting:

First place

"None of the populace had married outside the Barony in over four hundred years."
    — Submitted by Ludwig Schmutziger

Second place (tie)

(Too many to print here!)

The entire list of entries, as well as the voting results, may be seen in the previous issue.

The submission and voting period are over
Here are the submissions our readers sent in, sorted by votes received:


Kaptions Submitted by Our Readers:

"You can lead a horse to water, but ... well ... y'all know what the rest entrails!"
(Submitted by Rolf (the DANE) [Bjornsborg Ansteorra]) [4 votes]

Saxon, it's the OTHER white meat!
(Submitted by Tymothy Smythson) [3 votes]

The Event turned Ugly when the site was suddenly declaired Dry...
(Submitted by Lord Graywolf) [2 votes]

The Board's decision to double the membership dues was...well...unpopular, to say the least.
(Submitted by Iustinos Tekton called Justin) [2 votes]

The chivalry meeting was tamer than usual.
(Submitted by Just Another Random Squire.) [2 votes]

A horse is a horse of course of course, unless it's a flesh-eating horse of course, in which case *you'll* be the feast's first course -- beware of Mister Ed!
(Submitted by Iustinos Tekton called Justin) [2 votes]

The beatings and random mutilations will continue until morale improves.
(Submitted by Lord Gyric of Otershaghe) [2 votes]

On discovering that The Quarter was going online-only, the populace of the Southern Wastes courteously shared their opinions with Johannes Habernacher.
(Submitted by Erythrorhynchos of Atlantia) [2 votes]

An 7th century Chirurgeon begins the surgery while his colleagues prep the next patient. Horse saliva was believed to prevent infection.
(Submitted by Iustinos Tekton called Justin) [2 votes]

Wow, these squire trials are really rough!
(Submitted by True) [1 votes]

Hey, I don' t have to go all the way to the market - I can get my wife's sausage casings here if I hurry!
(Submitted by Lucia C) [1 votes]

The simple joys of an Inquisition
(Submitted by Ragnsteinn fra Andressmyri (West)) [1 votes]

After the onslaught of hurricanes this year, Triamaris finds a new use for bards. Bardic Soup
(Submitted by Lehoric Silverwater du Mer (East Kingdom)) [1 votes]

Never again was the village bothered by rogue mimes
(Submitted by Evan Hawkins) [1 votes]

Despite many attempts, the Westies never duplicated the Baron's Original Secret Recipe Haggis...
(Submitted by Jehan Bretel, Adiantum, An Tir (sort of)/(Jim Caldwell)) [1 votes]

Contrary to popular belief five centuries later, it was the election of 1500 that REALLY got out of hand.
(Submitted by Aron the Dane) [1 votes]

Just as I thought-rotgut beer. Help the others purge quickly.
(Submitted by Ciarán mac Cionath of EK) [1 votes]

Early attempts of deep well diving were met with mixed reactions. However, the game of grain belly trough pleased the horse immensely.
(Submitted by Lady Jehanne la Torta de Calais) [1 votes]

Stop that, it tickles!
(Submitted by Fauvel) [1 votes]

Just another lazy afternoon in the Bog.
(Submitted by Dante) [1 votes]

Gaining enough support, the Quarter and it's followers were able to begin "the great Trimaris Herald hunt"
(Submitted by laughing in Artemisia) [1 votes]

After a few object lessons, the heralds' pronounciation of Welsh names improved.
(Submitted by Alatea de La Rosa) [1 votes]

What Really Happens in a Laurel Meeting
(Submitted by Apollonia Margherita degli Albizzi) [1 votes]

The cooks guild soon learned the dangers of feeding armoured turnips to the populace.
(Submitted by Martelle Von Charlottenburg, Atlantia) [1 votes]

Alright pony when I finish filling him up you zip him close.
(Submitted by James B.) [0 votes]

(Submitted by Albina) [0 votes]

Ick...words just fail me at this point....
(Submitted by Bethia, Atenveldt) [0 votes]

The wife's going to kill me if I don't find my wedding ring soon!
(Submitted by Patience The Impetuous) [0 votes]

"You guys are right! There *are* human entrails in this well! Wonder where they came from? Well, pull me up now. Guys? Guys?!"
(Submitted by Iustinos Tekton called Justin) [0 votes]

What really happens at a Baronial Business Meeting.
(Submitted by HL Dafydd Caerfyrddin, An Tir) [0 votes]

Before the current custom of the Beer Helmet, new Asgard squres were either drowned in a well, or had their intestines ripped out while a horse bit them in the crotch. Of those surveyed, all prefer the beer helmet.
(Submitted by David Edwinson) [0 votes]

when good mobs go bad
(Submitted by Morgan Wagner) [0 votes]

Lord Dumkopf puts the finishing touches on his barley soteltie, already getting approval from the Equine enthusiasts.
(Submitted by Ursula Messerschmitt) [0 votes]

Guillame was finding fulfillment to be more and more elusive
(Submitted by 2ashamed 2admit) [0 votes]

Hurry, we must find the signet ring before the king gets back.
(Submitted by Me) [0 votes]

Being new to An Tir, Master Hamish MacHamish was not aware of what happens to those that serve the King haggis.
(Submitted by Senyora Agnes barengarii de girona -AnTir) [0 votes]

He needs the protein...
(Submitted by HHJ) [0 votes]

The Spanish Inquisition takes a chapter from the Medici on mutilation etiquette: Don't forget to feed the horse!
(Submitted by Giudo di Niccolo (Calontir)) [0 votes]

Fine then! We'll form our OWN Shire!
(Submitted by Finn) [0 votes]

Happy birthday! Ugh! Happy birthday! Ugh! Down the well you soon will go, then grain for horses down below! Happy birthday! Ugh! Happy birthday!
(Submitted by Veronica) [0 votes]

First we let the horses eat their fill, then we throw them down the well.
(Submitted by Roberto Carlos Dominguez) [0 votes]

Fine then! We'll form our OWN Shire! (Or The Seneschal Strikes back - when group politics get ugly)
(Submitted by Finn) [0 votes]

Mmmmm tastes like chicken.... wait! that is chicken...
(Submitted by Duke Logan) [0 votes]

Yep, just as I thought. The well is full of tapeworms. Hey fellas, you can stop the testing. Fellas?
(Submitted by Simon) [0 votes]

I don't know, Wilbur... I still think these oats smell funny.
(Submitted by Cuilén Ó Rothláin) [0 votes]

Remedy testing at the College of Chirurgeons
(Submitted by Niall the Victualler) [0 votes]

Who knew it was so hard to make a scarecrow? Hey, stop eating the sawdust!
(Submitted by Allegra Ginevra Soave da Napoli) [0 votes]

Last month, the populace cleverly combined the sausage making class with the baronial election.
(Submitted by Miguel Flores) [0 votes]

They soon discovered that the horse would only eat those people who had been pre-washed.
(Submitted by Uberto Renaldi) [0 votes]

Looking back on that day, some felt that the artisans might have been a bit too confrontational when discussing their scores with the judges.
(Submitted by Evan Hawkins) [0 votes]

(Submitted by Evan Hawkins, Atenveldt Wire-Weenie) [0 votes]

That's 'MR' Wire-Weenie to you!
(Submitted by Evan Hawkins, Atenveldt Wire-Weenie) [0 votes]

If you can lead a horse to water, but not make it drink, perhaps it is hungry.
(Submitted by Baron Alcyoneus du Battenhelm) [0 votes]

Okay, Okay!!! I'll go play dolls with you!
(Submitted by Someone) [0 votes]

The Quarter - No One Is Safe!