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Wacky Woodkut Kaption Kontest!


Last Month's Woodkut The people have spoken! Here are the results of our on-line voting:

First place

"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, the earlier and much more successful years"
    — Submitted by Melesse

Second place (three-way tie)

"You hear that sound your Highness? It's the shrieking eels....."
    — Submitted by Master Juan Santiago

"Emergency exits are located on the port side of the ship. In the case of an emergency, sea-monsters may be used as emergency flotation devices."
    — Submitted by Erythrorhynchos of Atlantia

"When an eel lunges out, and bites off your snout, That's a Moray!"
    — Submitted by Brendan Pilgrim

Third place

"What's that Flipper? Timmy fell down a well?"
    — Submitted by Evan QuickTongue

The entire list of entries, as well as the voting results, may be seen in the previous issue.




The submission and voting period are over
Here are the submissions our readers sent in, sorted by votes received:


???

Kaptions Submitted by Our Readers:

Rusty walks in on EVERY rooster's fantasy....
(Submitted by Evan QuickTongue) [9 votes]

Better put this back, the recipe only calls for one egg
(Submitted by HL Sireena de Artopeous) [8 votes]

"And that, children, is where Pelicans come from."
(Submitted by Erythrorhynchos of Atlantia) [6 votes]

Sibbota worked long and hard on her Medieval Sciences project: "Which Came First?"
(Submitted by Erythrorhynchos of Atlantia) [6 votes]

"Why did I decide to go for a Laurel in period animal husbandry?"
(Submitted by A naughty apprentice) [5 votes]

Klucky paces nervously while waiting for the invitro procedure to be completed on his lovely Galhina
(Submitted by Kith the Silent) [4 votes]

Period versions of the board game "Perfection" met with some resistance, most notably from the chickens.
(Submitted by Seadna Lach) [3 votes]

Brown eggs, damn it! I said I needed brown eggs for my Art/Sci entry!
(Submitted by L. Aurel) [3 votes]

Dear Penthouse Forum....
(Submitted by A Bad Ealdormerian) [3 votes]

I don't think this is what they meant by "take" a thousand eggs or more.
(Submitted by Lady Shyla McNair of Roaring Wastes) [2 votes]

"No, NO! Don't put it BACK!"
(Submitted by Jared, Barony of Altavia, Caid) [2 votes]

Thus prooving the old axiom, you can't put a square egg in a round chicken.
(Submitted by Lady Avice of the East) [2 votes]

Marvin, she's got the old Poulet Buttplug look in her eye....
(Submitted by Simon) [2 votes]

They're going to love my beer can chicken -- if this bird ever stops squirming.
(Submitted by Miguel Flores) [2 votes]

BucKAWWWWWK!
(Submitted by Rhys Wilkerson) [1 votes]

Henrietta hoped she hadn't been spotted as she backed slowly out of the kitchen.
(Submitted by Oleifr swordmangler) [1 votes]

Before the widespread acceptance of Catholicism, research into contraceptive implants was considered a priority among the Midwives of Western Europe.
(Submitted by Kerigwen,Gryffen ap Derwen Lloydd) [1 votes]

Aristotle said this was how it worked.
(Submitted by Alcyoneus, Calontir) [1 votes]

If I move quietly, maybe she won't notice I'm gone
(Submitted by Lord Bjorn (thinking of the chicken of course)) [1 votes]

George reflected on train of events that led him to Impatient Grizelda's Live Stuffed Chicken Emporium.
(Submitted by Aldith Angharad St. George.) [1 votes]

And long research showed why rounded eggs are preferrable to square ones.
(Submitted by Reynardo the Red) [1 votes]

"Oh dear...the instrucions for assembly didn't say where to put the eggs!"
(Submitted by Roget) [1 votes]

You mean I have to do this 999 more times? Ugh.
(Submitted by Alianor de R) [1 votes]

Emma the chicken midwife!
(Submitted by Guy Dawkins) [1 votes]

Abigail was thrilled by her new comedy chicken slingshot1
(Submitted by Cameron Ian MacLaird) [0 votes]

After 2 weeks of dealing with chicken farts Averyl decided to do something about it.
(Submitted by Cameron Ian MacLaird) [0 votes]

My Lord said "Stuff the chicken". I'd like to try this on him with the whole bird!
(Submitted by bonnie Loden) [0 votes]

The rooster paces anxiously as his offspring is being delivered...
(Submitted by Ross the wise) [0 votes]

Why the misses has the best eggs around
(Submitted by Soren) [0 votes]

ah HA! So it IS the egg that came first..
(Submitted by Matthew of the Six Eyes) [0 votes]

The rooster paces anxiously as his offspring is being delivered...
(Submitted by Ross the wise) [0 votes]

Stupid Martha Stewart! Why can't she pluck her OWN fresh eggs?!
(Submitted by Ragi Stronghawk) [0 votes]

Now pay attention, Rooster. This is where the egg comes from, see?
(Submitted by Lady Temair) [0 votes]

Most effective use of chickens when smuggling ilicit materials.
(Submitted by me) [0 votes]

Henny, why do you have to make things so difficult?
(Submitted by de Cat) [0 votes]

Cheese suppositories......All the rage in medieval medicine.
(Submitted by Lord Gunnar Red Boar - Midrealm) [0 votes]

But Abot Johann said it worked with *his* chickens. Must be a Midrealm thing.
(Submitted by Gwyneth Banfhidhleir, Middle Kingdom) [0 votes]

I said that I wanted a golden egg!!!
(Submitted by Marcus Romanus of Roaring Wastes) [0 votes]

Why the chicken REALLY crossed the road.
(Submitted by Nyia) [0 votes]

Despites test with a variety shapes, the oval egg was the final selection.
(Submitted by bart) [0 votes]

getting the eggs back in is the tricky part
(Submitted by Þóra Ottersdóttir) [0 votes]

"Would you quit egging me on and just kill me", said the Hen.
(Submitted by Vebrand) [0 votes]

And this, class, is how one chokes ones chicken.
(Submitted by Duncan mac Aemys) [0 votes]

A tisket, A tasket my bird has blown a gasket. she spread her legs and dropped her eggs and now she wears a basket.
(Submitted by SteelOvaries) [0 votes]

This one fits!
(Submitted by Guy Dawkins) [0 votes]



The Quarter - Comedy Ain't Pretty