Top Ten Things We DIDN'T See or Hear
(But Wish We Had) at Gulf Wars

10. Portable toilets named something other than "Pot of Gold".

9. Crusader personas vs. Middle Eastern personas - WWF style.

8. Trimarian Laurels performing a sketch entitled "Whose Art-Sci is it Anyway? Where everything's made up and the points don't matter."

7. Doumbek silencers.

6. Sir Karl saying, "Let's Forget all these siege weapons and the advance planning!"

5. Gyros that you don't taste now and then again later.

4. Earl Benen throwing out the D&D gamers from the Main Hall.

3. A field test for Master Geoffrey Maynard of York's hand cannon.

2. Hammocks for everyone!

1. Rhinos calling good blows.