Dear Mistress Abigaille

Advice from a real Peer -

so it must be good!

Dear Mistress Abigaille,

I have kind of a delicate situation, and I was hoping you could give me some advice on what to do. I have a friend who's, shall we say, fond of the ladies. But as soon as he brings them back to his tent, he seems to forget that the only thing separating him from the rest of the world is a thin layer of ripstop nylon. Which isn't terribly soundproof. Even worse, he likes to leave a light on so he can see, which throws some pretty explicit shadows onto the wall of his tent. What should I do?

- John Campmate

Dear John,

I'd buy a videocamera. And then save the tapes for some special occasion. Such as when his parents are in town. Or when he runs for public office. But that's just me. You might be happier with a pair of earplugs.