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The information in this publication is from sources believed reliable, but no guaranty or warrant is made as to its accuracy or safety. The Editor, The Quarter, and the Society for Creative Anachronism, Inc. assume no liability for the reader's use or misuse of the information contained herein, nor for any resultant property damage, other economic loss or bodily injury arising out of the reader's reliance on any claim, product or procedure contained herein. The information in this issue may prove hazardous, and the reader should take great care when undertaking the activities or handling the products discussed in this publication. The information and procedures discussed in this publication are not intended to be utilized by children. This issue may contain satire, humor and possibly even actual legitimate information (we'll try not to do the last one too much). Do not operate heavy machinery, lift heavy objects, enter heavy-weapons lysts, drink heavy water or land on the planet Jupiter while under the influence of this issue. Any resemblance to actual persons, places, things or events is either purely coincidental or intended as a parody. Opening this issue of the Quarter constitutes your agreement to the terms and conditions of the Microsoft End-User Agreement. (Be afraid. Be very afraid.) Please get a sense of humor before attempting to read this publication. Ink used in the publication of this journal may cause a burning rash and may also cause dain bramage. The Editor and publishers of The Quarter disclaim any responsibility for physical, mental or emotional anguish caused by the reading of this publication, being mentioned in The Quarter's Trimaris Fashion Report, NOT being mentioned in The Quarter's Trimaris Fashion Report, the heartbreak of psoriasis, the Osmond family, rap music, fencers, garden gnomes, vegetarians, carnivores, circus clowns, the Rialto, or the frozen head of Walt Disney.