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The information in this publication is from sources believed reliable, but no guaranty or warrant is made as to its accuracy or safety. The Editor, The Quarter, and the Society for Creative Anachronism, Inc. assume no liability for the reader's use or misuse of the information contained herein, nor for any resultant property damage, other economic loss or bodily injury arising out of the reader's reliance on any claim, product or procedure contained herein. The information in this issue may prove hazardous, and the reader should take great care when undertaking the activities or handling the products discussed in this publication. The information and procedures discussed in this publication are not intended to be utilized by children. This issue may contain satire, humor and possibly even actual legitimate information. Any resemblance to actual persons, places, things or events is either purely coincidental or intended as a parody. Light fuse and quickly move away. Not responsible for typographical errors. If you read this in the dark to avoid being seen in possession of this publication, you will get severe eye strain and possibly Toxic Shock Syndrome. Do not operate heavy equipment while reading this publication. Only $2.99 per minute. Kids! Get your parents' permission before reading this. Operators are standing by. Warning! Cheap ink used in the production of this genuine faux newsletter may cause a burning rash. Consult a doctor before reading this if you are on anticoagulants or antidepressants.